


Secrets uncovered

by Justyourtypicalfangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abused Dean Winchester, Abusive John Winchester, John Winchester Being an Asshole, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Past Child Abuse, Sam Winchester Comforts Dean Winchester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-15 20:08:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7236655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justyourtypicalfangirl/pseuds/Justyourtypicalfangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam always thought he knew about everything that went on in his and Dean's Childhood. He doesn't know that Dean has kept a huge, dark secret from him for years. What happens when that secret is uncovered and Sam finds out?</p><p>Set after Season 1 episode 14 "Nightmare"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supernatural fanfiction so please don't be too harsh! Reviews would be great!

Sam sat at the end of his bed in the motel, thinking hard. He was trying to make sense of things. He remembered his conversation with Dean outside the Miller's house, just a couple of days ago. 

"Well, I'll tell you one thing, we're lucky we had Dad" Sam said quietly. Dean looked surprised, shocked even.

"I never thought I'd here you say that" he said, in a voice that sounded very quiet and nervous.

"Well, it could have gone a whole 'nother way after Mom... A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting and we would've had Max's childhood"

Something flashed through Dean's eyes then. If Sam didn't know any better, he would have said it was a mixture of fear and shame. But that was silly. He had never seen Dean scared or ashamed in his life. He wasn't sure Dean had ever felt those emotions. Still... something bothered his about it.

He stared at his shoes, frowning. Something didn't make sense, and it was driving him mad. He remembered when Max had pulled his shirt up to show him his bruises. That type of bruises had seemed familiar to him, but he couldn't remember where. He felt like he had seen them on someone before, but he just couldn't remember on who. And then suddenly, he remembered.

*Flashback*

"Dean, what the hell happened!?" his eleven year old self exclaimed. He had just come into the room after taking a shower, to catch Dean changing. 

"Nothing Sammy" Dean said, hastily yanking his shirt over his head.

"Doesn't bloody look like nothing, that looks really painful!" Sam shouted. For covering his elder brother's back and stomach where black and purple bruises and welts, some of them fresh looking lay.

"Just hunting scars with that Poltergeist in Nebraska, threw me about a little bit" Dean lied quickly, trying to reassure Sam. Sam sucked in his teeth and stared at his brother.

"Honest?" he asked

"Honest" said Dean, throwing a pair of underpants at his head.

"Gross man!" yelled Sam and threw them back. And like that it was forgotten. Sam had not thought about that night for a long time

*End flashback*

Now, the what could really could have caused those bruises hit Sam like a ton of bricks. His hands started shaking slightly. He stared at Dean, who had been slightly more subdued and quiet since the incident with Max. Suddenly it all started to make a dreadful sense. The Bruises. The fear and shame in Dean's eyes. The way Dean tensed slightly when John shouted or raised his hand, and why he never broke his fathers orders.

"THAT SON OF A BITCH!" Sam suddenly yelled. Dean nearly fell of his seat, dropping John's journal.

"What the hell, college boy?" Dean said, staring at Sam in confusion. Sam simply stared at him for a moment before replying.

"You should have told me, I could have helped!" Sam shouted

"Told you what? What are you going on about?" Dean shouted right back

"You should have told me Dad beat you" Sam said simply. As soon as he said it, Dean tensed up and his jaw dropped. Fear and Shame once again burned in his eyes.

"How- what" Dean stuttered

"It doesn't matter how I know" said Sam "But why didn't you talk to me about it?"

"Please Sammy, I don't want to remember."

"Talk to me! It will help"

"No"

Please? You need to get it out."

"No"

"Please Dean, I want to understand. Just.. please?"

Sam saw Dean's shoulders slump in defeat.

" Alright, fine, I'll tell you" Dean and Sam sat down on the bed, both of them where shaking slightly. Sam felt like he a had a nest of angry snakes in his stomach.

"Started when I was about eight, about the time he started drinking more heavily. He had no progress finding Mom's killer and he was angry, he needed to let it out. Unfortunately for me I was the ideal punching bag for him" Dean laughed humourlessly 

"What did he do?" Sam whispered 

"Well, at the beginning it was just a slap here and there, then it progressed to punching and kicking me. But the worst times was when he would get his belt out. That started when I was about ten. I hate that thing. He used to get my shirt of, lay me on the couch or something, and then pull it out off his jeans real slow so I could hear it. Usually it would be about 20 or 30 strokes, and it hurt like a bitch. I'd be bleeding at 10 because he hit so hard. The worst time though was when I was about 15 and I had gone on a hunt with him to Nebraska, to take down a Poltergeist. Well, anyway, I screwed up and the thing nearly got away because of me. Dad couldn't do anything for a while because you where around, but the second you where gone he really laid into me. Must have got about 50 whacks with the belt before I passed out, and then he was slapping me awake and holding my head in a bucket of water until he thought I was really sorry. The bruises lasted for weeks and weeks. And the thing is, he still wears that belt. It's probably still got my blood on it too."

Sam felt like he was going to be sick. All that time, their father had been abusing Dean, and he hadn't even noticed. 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he mumbled

"He said, if I told you, he would beat you within an inch of your life, and make me watch. I couldn't let that happen. I loved you too much"

Guilt threatened to choke him. His brother had suffered so much to protect him. This whole time he had been having a go at Dean for always obeying their dads orders, not knowing that Dean was too scared not too.

" Dean, I'm so so sorry" Sam choked out, throwing his arms around Dean. Dean wasn't normally a touchy-feely kind of person, but he found himself hugging Sam back. Both brothers blinked back tears. 

"Well, I know one thing," Sam mumbled into Dean's shirt " When we do find Dad, I'm going to kill him"

"Don't Sam" said Dean " You wouldn't win a fight against him."

"But-"

"No Sammy promise me!" Dean said urgently

"Fine" Sam agreed reluctantly 

Because although he felt so guilty that Dean went through all of that alone, he knew that the two of them where closer than ever.


	2. Your Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean has a nightmare about John and Sam tries to comfort him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have read the first chapter you will know what Sam finds out Dean was abused by John as a kid and kept it from Sam. Unfortunately I do not own Supernatural or any of the Characters.

It had been a very long day. He and Dean had been hunting a angry spirit of a teenage girl who had committed suicide and had been killing people who swam in the lake she drowned in, and they had had to jump in the lake to destroy her. That was tiring enough, but on the way back to the motel the Impala broke down and they spent half an hour trying fix it. So it was not surprising to either of them when they finally got to the motel and fell asleep before even getting undressed, Sam face down on the bed and Dean dribbling onto his pillow.

Sam sighed and blearily opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep out of them. He heard noises coming from across the room and, hunter instincts taking over, he sat up hastily and grabbed the knife on the chest of drawers. However, the noises where coming from Dean. He was crying and thrashing about in his sleep. Sam ran over and shook him by the shoulders, trying to wake his brother. Dean was covered in sweat and was making whimpering sounds that sounded so weak and pitiful that Sam could barely believe Dean was making them.

"Dean, wake up!" Sam said frantically, shaking him

"No...Please" sobbed Dean

"Dean!"

"I'm sorry... Dad...Please don't hurt me"

"Dean, wake up!"

"No.. not that... please Dad"

"DEAN!" Sam shouted in desperation. Finally, Dean's eyes opened. At the sight of Sam leaning over him, he cowered back. His cheeks where wet with tears.

"Its alright, it's only me...not him" Sam said. Dean took a shaky breath and hid his face in his hands.

"How'd you know I was having a nightmare?" he finally muttered

"You where crying and...talking" Sam quietly replied

"What did I say?" Dean asked sharply 

"I don't think you want to know..."

"Sam. What did I say?"

"You said you were sorry, and you were asking Dad not to hurt you" Dean froze. Panic and humiliation quickly flashed through his eyes before he resumed an expressionless mask.

"Oh. Right" he said. 

"Are you alright?" Sam asked tentatively 

"Yeah course"

"It's just... I've never seen you have a nightmare like that, even when we where kids and Dad was...well" Sam trailed off

"I try not to think about it. It's too painful" Dean murmured

"Can I just ask you one thing?"

"Yeah, alright"

"Where you dreaming about a particular time?"

Dean was still for a moment, the nodded stiffly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Dean was silent.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked" said Sam.

"No, it's ok, it's about time I told you about it anyway" said Dean "I didn't properly tell you about the worst time" He sighed. Sam sat next to Dean on the bed. He had to admit it, he was scared of what he was about to hear.

"I only told you a bit about what happened that night. We where in Nebraska for a week, hunting a poltergeist. The thing was terrorizing the town, and it was only a matter of time before more people where killed. You where only about 10, and I was 15. Anyway, we where camping out waiting for the thing to appear. Dad had trusted me to shoot it, but when I tripped when I was running to shoot it and I missed the damn thing. It nearly got away because of me. Dad was so angry, I had never seen anything like it. He couldn't do anything because you where there, and I there was no way I was going to run and risk him taking it out on you. So I stayed, although I was terrified. He dropped you of at Bobby's and took me off, saying he was going to give me some extra training, teach me a lesson. He did that alright" Dean grimaced

*FLASHBACK*

"WHAT WERE YOU PLAYING AT?" John yelled at his son. Dean cowered in a corner, blood dripping from his nose.

"Please, sir... I didn't mean to" Dean whimpered, cowering from John.

"No, you never do, but this still keeps happening!" John bellowed. He grabbed Dean and threw him on the floor, and began punching and kicking him. Dean curled into a little ball to try to protect himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach. After he had got bored off that, he threw Dean over the couch arm and tore his shirt off. Dean trembled, he knew what was coming. John pulled his belt out of his jeans and bought it down hard on Dean's back. Dean gasped and spluttered in pain. Hit after hit rained down and blood trickled down his back. At 50 strokes the room seemed to tip sideways and Dean blacked out.

"Wake up, you pathetic idiot" John snapped, slapping Dean. "So weak, maybe this will man you up" John grabbed Dean and dragged him over to the bucket of water in the corner and shoved his head under the water, then yanked him back up again. Dean gasped and spat out water, his back feeling like it was on fire.

"You better hope you do better next time, boy" John said, throwing Dean on the floor and storming out.

*END FLASHBACK*

"I just cleaned myself up, and then we left. Before that, I was only scared of him, but after that, I was terrified of him. But it just made me more determined to protect you from it" Dean said, his fingers shaking slightly.  
Sam just sat there, staring at his brother. He couldn't believe how brave and strong his brother had been to bear all that and still keep going.

"Dean, I'm so-"

"Sammy, don't say you're sorry. We aren't 12 year old girls" said Dean

"You were so brave though" Sam persisted.

"What can i say? I'm amazing?" Dean smirked, some of the light coming back into his eyes.

"Alright Jerk" Sam grinned

"Bitch"


	3. Finding him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam and Dean meet up with John after searching for months. But know Sam knows what John did to Dean.

The two men quickly walked back too the motel, a bag of weapons slung over Sam's shoulder. They where both a little shaken after their encounter with the-not-so-friendly-Meg, and wanted to be in as soon as possible.

"Why didn't you just leave that stuff in the car?" Dean asked Sam impatiently 

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, better safe than sorry." replied Sam. Dean rolled his eyes and unlocked the door. While their eyes where adjusting to the gloom, Dean saw a dark figure standing by the window, and instantly became alert.

"Hey!" he called out. The figure turned and looked at him. Looking at his father's face, he felt his breathing quicken. He knew sooner or later he would have to deal with his father's wrath, but he had tried not to think about it. He glanced at Sam quickly, and saw many different emotions on his brother's face. There was relief certainly, that they had finally found him, but much stronger was red hot fury.

"Dad?" Dean whispered, only half aware of what he was saying.

"Hey boys" John said. Dean swallowed. Sam clenched his jaw but said nothing. Dean was aware John was going to give him a hug, to pretend everything was fine for Sam. Dean cringed but hugged him back. He knew what came of disobeying orders, even unspoken ones.

"What happened?" John asked

"It was a trap. I didn't know, I'm sorry" Dean said quickly. He saw rage flicker through his Father's eyes.

"It's all right, I thought it might be" John said, In a voice that to an outsider might sound reassuring but Dean heard the menace and anger in his father's words. He knew once John got him on his own, well, he wouldn't be able to sleep on his back for a week.

"Were you there?" Dean asked, trying to keep his voice steady.

"Yeah, I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy, right?" John asked Sam.

"Yes sir" they both said. Dean hated the fact that he was both so obedient to him. He was about to try to get Sam out of the room away from John's anger when suddenly he Sam drew back his fist and aimed at John. Dean heard a crack as Sam's fist connected with his nose.

"What the hell Sam!" John shouted angrily as his nose gushed blood.

"You son of a bitch! Thinking I'd never find out!" Yelled Sam, glaring at his father, trying to land another punch. Dean grabbed Sam and pulled him back

"How dare you attack your father like that!" John said

"You never had any problem beating one of us like that though did you?" Sam shouted. John looked from Dean to Sam before glaring at Dean.

"What lies have you been saying now Dean?" he asked in an quiet yet frightening tone

"I...um..." Dean muttered, not daring to look his father in the eye

"He didn't say anything, I just finally figured it out. You piece of shit!" Sam screamed. John drew back his fist. Dean leapt across the room in fury and grabbed John's fist.

"Don't hurt Sammy. You can whatever the hell you want to me, but you will not lay a finger on him" Dean commanded. Sam was glaring at him, waves of hatred rippling of him. 

"For gods sake boys. We need to talk about the demon. It's tried to stop me before. It knows I'm close. It know I'm going to kill it, not just exorcise it or send it back to Hell, actually kill it." John said, shaking Dean off.

Sam and Dean both stared at John.

"How?" Dean asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"I'm workin` on it"

"We want this demon dead just as much as you do. We'll help" said Sam, now reluctantly interested. 

"No. This Demon is one scary son of a bitch. Besides, we can't fight it if we are fighting ourselves. You are under the impression I did something to your brother. We could end up killing each other." John argued.

"So that's why you want us to stay away is it? Afraid we'll get even with something other than the demon?" Dean questioned

"What's got into you Dean? You never used to be so disrespectful!" John shouted

"Because every time you got angry you beat the crap out of him!"

"I did no such thing!"

"That's a load of shit!" both Sam and Dean yelled. Sam looked at Dean in shock. He had only ever heard him stand up to John to defend Sam, not himself.

"Do you have any idea what it was like for me? I still have scars from you! I spent years and years protecting Sam from you, and I didn't deserve to go through that!" Dean screamed.  
Before John could say anything however, something threw him backwards into the cupboard. The same force sent both Sam and Dean flying. John was being attacked by the shadows, leaving claw marks on his face. Sam and Dean where both in a similar state, blood streaming. Sam quickly grabbed the bag of weapons and got out a flare, lighting up the room. The shadows retreated, but smoke began to fill the room. Dean grabbed John and began to help him walk.

"Dean why are you helping him?" Sam asked

"We can't just leave him here to die" Dean said. The three of them raced out the building and over the Impala.

"We don't have much time before they come back" Sam said

"Dad can't come with us" said Dean

"But we need him to find and kill the demon" Sam argued

"Look at what just happened Sammy! Those shadow demons just kicked our ass because we were too busy yelling at each other! Also I don't want him around you! We are better off apart" Dean said.

"Your brother's right" John said.

"So that's what it takes to get you to listen to me. Hell, we should fight more often" Dean said sarcastically.

"You will let us know when it's time to take this son of a bitch down though. We will be part of this fight." Sam said. John nodded at him before getting into his truck and driving away. The two men watched him go.

"That was really brave of you Dean." Sam said. Dean looked confused.

"What was?"

"Standing up to him like that. I know that took a lot of guts." Dean smiled.

"Have too say, felt pretty good." he said. They got into the impala, both determined that they where gonna kill the demon and stay together while doing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed, took me AGES! Comments would be great. And I know the chapter summary is crap.


End file.
